Our Dear Captain and Commander
by Ender's Fangirl
Summary: "I, Leonard McCoy, am not an idiot." oneshot from Bonesy's POV, Spirk, M for Len's potty  mouth.


**A/N: Oh, Bones, you are my favorite person to torture with sugary Spirk goodness.**

**Disclaimer: I WOULD KILL YOU JJ ABRAMS, IF THAT MEANT OWNERSHIP OF THE REBOOT WENT TO ME! But alas... it doesn't.**

* * *

><p>I, Dr. Leonard McCoy, am not an idiot.<p>

Contrary to what most people _think _they know, I am not socially inept, nor am I bad at reading body language. It's just that most people don't realize that my gruff rudeness is in my own way, a protective instinct. I do care for the crew, hell I wouldn't take all the shit a CMO gets if I didn't. There are many things people don't know about me.

And if there is one thing that surprises them the most, it's that I know.

Yes, I, Bones, best friend of Captain James T Kirk, know.

But then again, they weren't exactly subtle.

I knew before the crew knew. I knew before _they_ knew. I, Leonard McCoy, infamous hard ass, knew that someday, somehow, our First Officer and Captain were going to fuck our ship over. Royally, as if that weren't enough.

It started before Spock and Jim were even what they both deemed 'friendship'. In truth, it started before Uhura and Spock broke up.

The mission was supposed to be routine. Diplomatic, short, and a small check up according to the federation's treaty with the planet's inhabitants. Off course, living in a dorm with Jim Kirk teaches you a few things. And if any them applied more than this one, well I must be one hell of an idiot. But I'm not. I learned that _nothing_ is ever routine, not if Jim Kirk is involved. And that probably goes doubly if he just happens to be the Captain.

Because Jim just HAD to go and eat the food. It was probably two years ago, but I remember my exact words to him before the mission. Don't. Eat. The. Goddamn. Food. I even threaetned him with a hypo spray. And that ALWAYS worked. But unfortunately, the Captain's oath, which is repeated by every Federation Captain, demands you swear loyalty to the cause. Diplomacy.

Damn dumb fuck and his stupid lack of concern for his life and damn loyalty to the federation.

It's going to be the death of me someday.

Everyone else, of course, was fucking dandy. But not Jim. The damn kid is the most brilliant idiot I've ever met. And I'm not fucking with ya, I've met some stupid-ass geniuses. When he beamed up, everyone crowded around him, trying to- well hell if I know. When I came in, everyone was talking so damn much, I couldn't get a word in edge wise. Next thing I know, the pointy-eared bastard, who, I might add, still didn't like me or Jim all that much, was using a tone I'd never heard before, and giving looks to anyone close by. If I weren't me, I'm sure he would've scared the shit out of me.

I never thought about it before, but those damn hobgoblins have a whole arsenal of deadly-Vulcan-ninja weapons. Logic. Nerve pinches. Mind melds. And pissed off crazy wild looks that practically scream _BACK THE FUCK OFF OR I WILL HAVE YOUR HEAD. _Then again, that may just be my opinion.

But let me tell you, the Vulcan cleared the area around Jim before you could say What in the fuck, and I, of course, moved to do my job. I stabilized Jim, but as always, he needed intense care for the next few hours. Damn shit head and his stupid allergies.

With Jim incapable of reporting for duty, Spock had the bridge for two shifts. And after that, he was in science labs for almost three hours, and instead of getting the rest he goddamn needed, he came and visited Jim. And let me tell you, he was concerned. Not his regular '_I was merely inquiring about the state of our Captain, Doctor, I need not remind you, Vulcans do not feel concern, nor any other emotions,' _bullshit, but he was sitting with Jim. He stayed there until his next shift to. It wasn't long before I noticed- Spock hadn't _not_ ever visited Jim whenever he had free time.

As always, Jim was up and working within a few days, but after that I noticed small changes in Spock's behavior. He no longer seemed to enjoy Nyota's company, he was never off of work when she was, and eventually, he broke up with her. But that wasn't what peaked my interest, because let's face it- they're relationship had been forced from the start. No, what I noticed was the lingering glances, the attempt to have a real friendship with our Captain, hell, Spock had even taken to evening chess games with Jim.

And a few weeks after that, Jim and I were talking.

"I'm telling you Bones, I've never been happier. The ship is running smoothly, Nyota and Scotty seem to be clicking, and Spock actually doesn't hate me! Man... I didn't think being friends would be so- Well I dunno, but it's great!" I smiled and congratulated Jim, but meanwhile, my mind was going a million miles an hour. Jim eventually left, and I made a decision. I had to have a little chat with the First Officer.

"Who is requesting entrance?" came his voice.

"McCoy, lemme in, Commander." The door slid open and his eyes tired met mine.

"Doctor- Come in." I didn't though. I crossed my arms, silently deciding on what I was going to say. Finally- the words I'd been looking for came.

"Spock, I know you like _like_ Jim, and let me tell you, that kid is so god damn happy right now, he could stay up for a week straight. It's your choice on how you're going to make a move, but god damn it, you fuck up Jim's life, and I will _end you."_ He stood there, disoriented for a minute (though he wouldn't admit to discomposure, even if it were for a nanosecond) and then he looked back at me. "Just a fair warning," I say, and then I walked away.

Imagine my surprise though when Jim comes bursting into my office for no reason, less than a month after my conversation with the Commander, looking happier than ever. I swear, the kid was glowing.

"Oh Bones! I'm so happy! You won't believe what's happened!"

"What is it?"

"Spock asked me out! He asked me out! Oh God, I don't think I even realized how much I wanted this!" I smiled at him and patted his shoulder. _I did,_ I think to myself.

"Congratulations," I say, because I don't know anyone else who deserves this kind of happiness more than Jim. Jim looks astonished.

"You mean you don't mind?"

"Hey, if you finally have someone to stay alive for, I don't give a damn _who _it is." Jim positively _beams _at me.

We were fucked now, with our First Officer and Captain being involved, but I don't give a damn. Jim's _never_ been happy, period. Now, though, it seems a certain Vulcan is slowly changing that. I may always have issues with Spock, but I won't stop respecting him for what he does for Jim.

I, Leonard McCoy, am not an idiot.

And if there's one thing people should know, it's that I knew. I knew before anyone else, including our dear Captain and Commander.

Besides, the Doctor knows best- Right?

* * *

><p><strong>Oh Bones, your so philosophical. Well not really per se, but- Never mnd. Anyways hope you enjoyed, now please review~<strong>


End file.
